Understanding the pesudo-opposition leader
This article originally appeared in centreright.in. CRI content has now been subsumed in swarajyamag.com. The views expressed here are personal and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors of swarajyamag.com

In the summer of 2007 we heard a gentleman utter these sagely sentences – “I belong to the family which has never moved backwards, which has never gone back on its words. You know that when any member of my family had decided to do anything, he does it. Be it the freedom struggle, the division of Pakistan or taking India to the 21st century,”

Move forward to the spring of 2011, the very same gentleman asserts this – “Corruption is taking place because doors of the political system are closed and the average person who wants to do good is not allowed in

To an innocent bystander both these statements will sound very emphatic. The second one might even sound intellectual.

Now, here’s an interesting “trivia” that we may not pay attention to:

This gentleman, his mother(7 years amd counting), his very own father(5), grandmother(17)  and his great grand father(16) have altogether headed the ‘political system’ for a grand total of 45 years in their respective careers. Considering that not so long ago, we were enlightened of the fact that all that needs to be done for curing ills of this country is just a “decision” from this family you wonder  what on earth has the “family” done for  16+17+5+7=45 years, to solve, lets say corruption, Kashmir, Naxalism, North East insurgencies?

No. You don’t question him like that.

Because then he will tell you this – The system is screwed up, and “you” have to come into politics and clean it. Again and again. Press Conference after press conference, meeting after meeting, speech after speech – every single event from that summer of 2007 declaration to the latest spring of 2011 assertion – he blames “you” for the malaise in the “system”. He finds fault with “you” for being lazy enough to have elected his “family” and then not doing anything to clean the rot.

Fair enough, don’t you think?

Now just to stop you from questioning his logical skills and such he comes up with real gems such as shown in this  video (save this folks, for this is one of those rare videos of his meeting with students. No press is ever present at any of his meetings).

At the beginning he says “My great grand father is from Allahabad and he moved to Kashmir. So I am from UP and Kashmir. My grandfather was a Parsi and he is from Mumbai. So I am from Mumbai. My mother is from Italy. (Realises his folly amidst audience giggling) I am from Delhi”. The audience even erupts into applause.

The gentleman has clearly had his share of blunders. He goes to Gujarat and compares Modi to Mao. He goes to UP and blames citizens there for electing Mayawati (explicitly implying that their “woes” are of their own making). His biggest foot in the mouth to date?  Inflation is caused by coalition!

Suddenly you see him declare valiantly to the people of Niyamagiri, Odisha that he is their “soldier” in Delhi. This pre-planned trip to Niyamagiri hills coincided with the announcement of rejection of clearance for Vedanta mining in the area. It really was a coincidence – you be assured!

He gets asked tough questions about farmer suicides and he fumbles. Head line scream:  “Rahul Gandhi charms students – and a cop – in Pune“.

Students in Gujarat question him about his reluctance to see the development in Gujarat and he fumbles.

Students in Bihar force his exit for talking politics in a student meet. He fumbles.

And when somebody (finally) asked him what his greatest accomplishment was he says he wants 10 more years. Fumble!

Despite the unceasing flow of fumbles an impression has been imprinted so well into the gullible minds of unsuspecting youth that this gentleman, Rahul Gandhi, is the answer to all our ills. A cursory reading of various papers and news channels only create the impression that he is the “eternal opposition leader” waiting and wanting to usher in the much needed change – despite having been in ‘power’ all along. (His mothers very own UPA-1? UPA-2?)

The idea is brilliant – as a fellow CRI commentator pointed out, the plan is to clear the way for “Rahul Gandhi’s ascendancy on account of anti-incumbency against UPA-2. (That’s the brilliance of Congress’s media assisted election management)“.

Now there’s a plan we hope fumbles as usual!